SciFi Mama

Adventures in raising a geeky child

Remember, she’s only 4 June 21, 2010

Filed under: parenting — scifimama @ 6:41 pm

I keep repeating this phrase to myself over and over.  She’s only 4.  She’s only 4.  It has to get better.  We’ve had some trying times lately, and I see us getting onto Paige more and more often it seems like.  I thought about something Beth posted in a comment about getting perverse pleasure in being more stubborn than her kids.  I realized this is partly true of me as well.  I’m stubborn.  Ronnie is stubborn.  So it shouldn’t surprise me that our child is stubborn.  Genetics works folks.  Over the past weekend I actually stopped and asked myself if I was getting on to her about something that was justifiable or was it just to be more stubborn.  It was almost all justifiable.  If she has a friend over and won’t share toys, she can sit in her room until she’s ready to share toys.  She can’t order me around the house to do her bidding.  I will not be spoken to that way.

Another thing that made me stop to think this morning was my Facebook status:

Thank God it’s Monday. I can take my grumpy, PITA 4 year old to daycare and go to work. Or, as I like to think of it, my 9 hours of not being a Mommy. Yes, she’s been that bad this weekend.

A friend of mine in town for a few days commented on it asking about a lunch date.  That really made me stop to think.  Here I am complaining about Paige not acting right and here’s my friend who lost her child suddenly at 21 months.  That lead me to think about my cousin who lost his 3 month old to SIDS.  Just after her funeral my uncle (the grandfather) was walking into Walmart with my aunt when they watched a grandmother yelling at her  4 or 5 year old grandchild.  The child had gotten fingerprints all over the clean windows after being told not to.  My uncle walked up to her and reminded her that glass cleans, she should be thankful she still has her granddaughter, since he had just buried his.  He said the look on her face was worth it, because it seemed to hit her what he had said.
Paige was over tired this weekend due to staying out past her bedtime both nights and not sleeping any later in the morning.  She still takes naps but didn’t nap any longer either.  And somehow she’s gotten this idea into her head that she can order us around the house like her servants.  That’s not going to happen and needs to be stopped immediately.  Also, throwing toys and talking baby talk will not get her what she wants.  Unless what she wants is either a spanking or being sent to her room.  In that case, she got exactly what she wanted.

2 Responses to “Remember, she’s only 4”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    I enjoy reading your posts. You are very different from me as a mom, so it's always good to see things from a different set of eyes. I do have to say I feel your stubborn side, as I have one too. That said when Sylvie was a bit younger, I found myself in a battle of wills with her- constantly. Grandparents as well. I decided to change things up. I turned on the sweetness factor, worked the "Jesus and morals and being a family" angle more verbally not just when she was bad, but also praising the good. I introduced a penny cup with rewards for good behavior more verbally than physical rewards. And I got a whole new daughter. It's sheer bliss. I don't know what would work for you, and I totally hear you on demanding respect. But there are other ways and sometimes maybe thinking outside the box can stun a child into submission. Just sayin'. 'cause you know, she's only little for so long. And kids will behave if you good around and be silly and tell them it's not backwards day so you really did mean what you said as much as they will if you take priveleges away.

  2. C. Beth Says:

    Chickie is similar to Paige in some ways. And it can be so frustrating when you know that if they'd just be RATIONAL, they'd make good choices to avoid bad consequences!I think you're a thoughtful parent–by that I mean, you think about the parenting choices you're making, trying to adjust as necessary. From what I read on your blog, it really sounds like you're very good at setting boundaries.So…I hope this is a phase that goes away quickly. Of course, our girls will probably always have these independent streaks, this desire to test Mommy & Daddy to see what is and isn't acceptable, and to see how much they can get away with. But it really does seem like certain days/weeks/months are just extra-challenging for one reason or another. Let's hope Paige is near the end of this difficult time!

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